Saturday, May 9, 2009

Doom for Steve

Dear Steve,

Today's post is just for you. I know that you, among others, have professed that you will be one of the first collaborators when our Robot Overlords (did I say overlords? I meant protectors,) take over. I really do think that this is a good career path for you. This is because you're about to become obsolete.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "I'm a Chemistry teacher. I have a graduate's degree in stuff that is Science! Surely the day that robots can replace thinking human beings is far away!"

Woe to thee, Steve, for I am the harbinger of ill news! Grad students are now obsolete!

It won't be long before scientists become automated! And if Robots can do science, Steve, they will surely be able to teach it. The day of your professional demise is soon at hand. You will join our blue-collar forefathers in being roboted out of a job. And yes, I just made the word 'roboted' up. Sue me. It won't stop you from being obsolete.

Hope you got a back-up career, there bud. Me, I don't have to worry. I'll surely be among the first vaporized. Good luck to you! G.L.A.D.O.S. will be appropriating your desk shortly.

Via Newscientist

Friday, May 8, 2009

Weapons of the Apocalypse: Silent Death

Last week, scientist made a significant step forward in developing an honest-to-god cloaking device.

Now, it doesn't take a great leap of the imagination to imagine Big-Dog outfitted with a cloaking device. Not that you still wouldn't hearing him coming from a mile away... but you wouldn't be able to see him! Imagine the terror! Surely we're doomed, right?

Fortunately at the moment, this technology is only limited to things that are microscopic. Yes, you heard that right. We can make things that we couldn't see anyway invisible.

Color me impressed.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Social Injustice!

It is becoming evident that humans are doomed to become a second class citizen. Normally, if I were to attempt to kill someone, I would probably be fined and thrown in jail. Apparently if you're a robot, all you get is a slap on the wrist.

$3,000!?! Are you kidding me? I bet his medical bills cost more than that!

This, my friends, is a sad, sad day for humanity.